And throwing around a word like boobs tends to do it.
When I started this blog at the beginning of the year I thought that a lot of it would be about how I changed my lifestyle, and in all honesty my life has changed, though I can't really say the lifestyle has much.
I had ideas about where I was going and what I was going to do and now I weigh more than I did and my eating habits are equally atrociousness, I don't spend as much time with my spouse and children as I wanted to and I haven't met any of the goals that I planned. And while I could blame my boobs for these problems, that's not really the case at all. More of it is what's been going on in my head than what's been going on in my body, although technically the chemical chaos in my brain could be considered what's going on in my body but I'm not going to argue the technicalities with myself.
The fact is before I started to think about getting any of that stuff done I had to deal with what I call my demure insanity, commonly known as depression. There are varied opinions of depression and how to deal with it, but I know it's a shy and quiet sort of insanity that few people other than the person dealing with it can notice or take care of, if other people could then suicide rates would be lower and we wouldn't be mourning the loss of Robin Williams.
I've struggled with depression since my teenage years, I have enough insight to know when I need help and this year I decided to take the steps to get help. I've gotten on medication and am in much needed counseling. I especially needed this after the cancer scare. This time I have every intention of getting my life in order and learning how to get myself on the path at I need to be on, a path that will not only benefit me, but the ones around me who have to suffer with demure insanity being a sickness, rather than the demure lady who throws out crazy, witty and fun quips like I want to be, and have been in the past.
